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Dear Caroline,

I haven’t written much lately and it’s because I have too much to say. I can’t get it all straight in my head.

I miss you. I always miss you. These next six months are going to be so hard. I’m going to rely on you more to help me and talk me through them. It’s so hard to believe you left eight months ago. I think back to the day you left and it felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest. I didn’t know how I was going to make it through the day and here I am, still coping, and still making it, eight months later. I’m looking at six more months and I’m feeling the same way, like it’s never going to end.

At the same time, I couldn’t be prouder of you. I’m so excited to hear about the things you do and accomplish every day. Every comment, every word of praise, every compliment is earned and well deserved. I’m excited about how much more you’ll learn in six months. How much more you’ll grow. I’m excited to be on this journey with you and I’d rather be here with you than anywhere else in the world. I choose you and I wouldn’t trade you or us for anything else in the world.

I’m torn between wanting to cry because I miss you so much and starting an Amazon wedding registry. Between curling up with your t-shirt, my heating pad, and my pillow and picking out China patterns.

It’s silly. I know.

I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

But I’ll wait as long as it takes. Always.