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Dear Caroline,

Yesterday was spectacular. Though it was complicated and time consuming, I haven’t spent so much of my day with you in a long, long time.

Too long.

My morning was hectic, going to fill out all of my new job paperwork. But since it was so quick, it was easy to break away to come wake you.

There’s nothing in this world like your sleepy face in the morning. You looked so good, nothing fancy, just jeans and a black t-shirt. It still makes my heart skip a beat to see you doing something so simple as pulling your hair up or brushing your teeth.

Breakfast. All the bacon. Pancakes and waffles. Coffee and orange juice. Whipped cream and strawberries.

All of the breakfast.

People watching and talking about our future over eggs. How things have changed so much and so fast. With neither of us afraid or worried.

You home and off to work. Waiting for good news and looking for your direction.

Me home and napping. Rainy, gray weather always makes me sleepy. A full belly and a content heart.

Up and moving again. Driving over the bridge, kids in tow, coming to see you for dinner. Laughing at the reservation that I didn’t make.

Delicious steak and cheap Alfredo. Watching the children try bruschetta. Laughing when you get a break in the back and join us for a minute. Giving you everything of mine that I have in that moment, including my drink and my heart all over again.  Laughing when you run back into the back, taking my beverage with you. My heart is always with you.

Smiling when your head turns at the tall blonde walking behind you. Catching your guilty face and busting out into laughter that I can’t explain to my small companions. Key lime pie and cheesecake with raspberry puree. Singing Prince in my head at that.

Raspberry puree..

The kids begging to go walk the beach.
Your disappointment at not being able to join us.

Then you do. More beautiful than ever in green. I love that color on you. I love every color on you, really. I’ve never been so in awe of someone.

Walking down the beach to the pier, laughing at ghost crabs and children alike. The waves crashing. A completely perfect, warm and breezy night.

The pier in the distance.

My reward for walking there and back was the happy sounds of the children on the swings and your arms waiting for me.

I’ve never laughed as much as when I’m with you. Sometimes my face aches and I still can’t stop smiling. Watching you and the kids, knowing that right here, right now, I’m watching my heart walk around outside of my body. All three of you are my world.

Sitting, exhausted, in the sand. Long days for you. Finding that perfect smooth shell to bring and drop at your feet. Grinning at the recognition of the act in your eyes. It’s not a pebble, but we’re not penguins. Our life is on this beach. I’m giving you a shell. I pick you.

Running back to the shoreline, bringing back a handful of them to drop at your feet again. In case there was any question.

Handing you a large, sandy rock that proves I love you, because that’s what I have right now. I promise, though. The shiny one will come.

I don’t want to be anywhere else.

Being with you makes my whole world move. It shakes the Earth and rattles my soul and is the most comforting, secure thing I’ve ever known.

I’ve found what I’ve searched my whole life for in you.